does it ever just knock you over your head and onto your knees?
do you ever just feel every weight of the world lose it's significance in light of the one and only we are meant to pursue?
it's just mind-boggling.
that i've been so dense.
that i've been wanting things that i KNOW won't bring true satisfaction.
as i was walking across the quad tonight after my run, that ONE song came on. the one song i just needed to hear in solitude. waves of nostalgia and a thought such as "what the HECK have i been doing?!" bounced from side to side in my brain.
i've completely forgotten. well, not completely. but i've forgotten how to connect. how to pursue. i've forgotten the meaning of right priorities.
forgotten that everything good in me comes directly FROM the spirit.
that God doesn't love me because of the good things i've done, but He makes ME good out of His undying, incomprehensible, undeserved love for me.
i've forgotten what the phrase 'stand in awe' really means.
to stand in awe before the one who stood before creation.
the one who stood before my failure and carried the cross for my shame.
HE took MY sin upon HIS shoulders. there was no other way.
He deserves my whole heart. my entire focus. i LIVE for His existence. none of this stuff is about me. none of it.
'so I'll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the one who gave it all
i'll stand,
my soul Lord to You surrendered
all i am is Yours.. "
that I may gaze upon Your face, oh Lord. oh, to know this man.
shoot. talk about a wake up call.
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